across the hall and up

Before I can go to sleep each night
I tiptoe across the hall
To Janie's room

I fix her blankets around her
and replace her bears near her little face
where she likes to snuggle them close

I lean down to kiss her for the last time today
I breathe her in as I listen to her breathe

In the stillness
It feels very holy here with her,
like her room was built onto heaven's floor plan
A little part of me wants to curl up on the floor by her crib
and sleep in the heavenly peace


I stay until she stirs a little
and I tiptoe away
My visit to heaven
always leaves me,
arms and heart,
stronger
to carry us through another day.

Or am I simply feeling
her wings
carrying me?

*photo taken February '08