My Campaign For Real Beauty

"...No amount of eye shadow, lipstick, or mascara could possibly compete with the natural attractiveness of a genuine smile. It brightens the room. It cheers others. It communicates friendship, love, and optimism so much more than any cosmetic ever could. It puts people at ease and is welcoming. Truly in the world of glamour, there is no close second to a genuine smile."

-Lynn G. Robbins

Meet
*my husband's darling mother*



Sue

Sue chaperoned our first road trip. Jason and I were just dating then and Jason wanted us to take a road trip. The way Sue tells it, she just wanted to get to know me better. Whatever the reason, I'll always be glad she came along. And if the fact that she wasn't afraid to be the third wheel doesn't say enough about her, she even let us hold hands in the front seat while she sat in the back [and slept most of the way... or was she just pretending?] At the hotel Sue and I shared the bed while Jason took the couch. One night I snuggled her arm in my sleep. She didn't say anything about it until I asked her if that was just a dream. She also got a glimpse of the I-shouldn't-have-this-much-sugar-this-late-at-night-I-will-laugh-at-anything Meg. But she was laughing, too! Jason was the one who got annoyed [oh that was REALLY funny.] We giggled through the entire "toilet tour" underneath the city [Seattle has a messy history] and took silly pictures.



On the drive home, we were in a car accident. The driver in front of us decided to try to use one of those "emergency vehicles only" pathways to turn around on the freeway. He suddenly slowed down and we didn't have time to stop or room to swerve and ended up in the ditch between the freeways. While we waited for help to come Sue told Jason to let the other driver come sit in our car since it was chilly out. She also told Jason to let the guy wear his coat. I was touched by her willingness to help another--even the one who had been the cause of our disaster. We looked on in surprise when the guy was handcuffed, at which point Jason awkwardly had to ask for the jacket back [while we sat in the car, snickering ] before he rode away in the back of the patrol car...
is that what you call a close one?
The trip definitely was.

When Jason and I were engaged and found the apartment that would be our first home, Sue was always finding ways to help make it beautiful. The one thing we did not have was a dresser for our bedroom. Sue found an old, beat-up dresser somewhere. Before we knew it, she had sanded it down, painted it and then sanded it some more to give it a lovely antiqued look. That dresser is still in our room. In a way, it is a symbol of Sue herself. This is what she does in all aspects of her life. She tries to make happiness and beauty out of what others might see as gloomy or unpleasant.

Several years ago, Sue's kidneys stopped functioning and the search for a kidney donor began. She spent weeks in a hospital bed, something I imagine was maddening for her as she thrives on staying busy. Blessedly, a friend offered to be the donor. Three daughters-in-law and five grandchildren are among those most grateful for that. Sue remains the heart of her family. When the family is together, some element of fun seems to be missing if she's not there. She's like a magnet; everyone gravitates to her. She seems to have special powers of persuasion and putting others at ease. I have discovered her superpower:
it's love.

Sue seems able to easily transcend many of the pettier things of life [another product of her kidney experience, I suspect]. She works to be a peacemaker. She is above hostility and pessimism. She seems to have a secret stash of cheerfulness that is not easily depleted. Sue can also be playful and silly. How I love that Jason inherited this from her! He sings silly songs and he loves to make her (and now me and Janie) laugh, something that I know he learned at her knee. I learned this at my mother's knee, so of course it is a part of Sue that I will always treasure in Jason.



Thoughts from Mama Sue...

What physical features or personality traits do you share with other family members?

I see my father in me in that I am a happy and jovial person who can really tell a good story. I see my mother in me in the way I can just start up a conversation with about anyone and feel ok about it.

I look like my dad and I love to play games like my mom. I also have my mom's rough skin. I used to be sorry that I looked like my dad, but now I love it! He was a cute man. I love that I have my mom's love of playing. Sometimes it makes it hard to be serious, though. Hate the hands!

One thing I love about my mother is…

She loved to make people happy and loved to help others. I recall a lady in our neighborhood who mom always helped. She took her to and from the store and the beauty salon, because she did not have a car and was too sick to drive. I hope that I can always love to make people's lives easier as well. My mother was also a spiritual lady. She did not really recognize it, but I did. I always said that if my dad had passed first, my mom would have come into the church.

Share an experience you have had where a friend was important in making you feel beautiful and allowing you to be your true self.

I have so many dear friends, they truly are my sisters. When I joined the church, I accepted the fact that many of my relationships would be changed. I have always believed that the ward family is just that – FAMILY! Each of my friends fill a place in my life. They all love me for myself, however imperfect that is. I know that when I am with any or all of them, I am loved.

I think of LeAnn giving me a kidney, what a dear friend! I feel that in a way she risked her life to save me. There is not enough to say about her unselfishness. She has truly learned the meaning of laying down your life for that of a friend. I will never be able to say enough good about my dear friend.

What are strengths others see in you?

My friends have told me that one of my strengths is caring about others. I guess this is true. One of the problems with this is that sometimes you end up putting your nose where it does not belong.

What do you feel makes you special and beautiful?

I feel special and beautiful when my grandchildren reach out to me for a hug. Even when Bailee pats my cheeks and says, “chubby.”

I feel good about myself when ...

When I see my children following the things we taught them. When they don't, I try to remember that they have choices to make along their path. We learn from mistakes we make. I know all my boys will remember me saying, “Do you have to make all the same mistakes everyone else made, to learn?”

What makes you feel strong?

I feel strong when I accomplish something that I set my mind to. I love to set goals and achieve them. I feel strong when I bear my testimony of the Book of Mormon and the Prophet Joseph.

What are some things you admire in yourself?

I admire the ability that I have to make people feel at home and comfortable around me. I always loved that the boys' friends love to be here in our home.

I think the most interesting thing about me is...

the feelings I have in my heart, but rarely can share.

What was/is the best job you've ever had? Why?

The best job I ever had was my job with Worldmark. Not because of the money, but because it gave me self-confidence. It gave me the chance to share my beliefs with people who did not have the same standards as I did.

What makes you happy?

I feel happy when I am with my family or friends, that is really all that is really important.

How have you learned who you really are?

Life has shown me who I am. Being baptized and participating in the church has helped me to find myself as well. I used to be shy. No one can ever believe that. Life shows you the things you need to know, if you let it.

What do you find joy in creating?

I find joy in seeing something that I want to make and just doing it. I love that my daughters want to learn how to be good homemakers. I love helping them can food or make nighties or costumes or whatever. I have learned that the best teacher is just doing!

What do you want to be?

I am what I want to be. A wife, a mother, a mother-in-law, a grandmother, a friend, and a child of God.

What are some things you admire in others?

I admire the ability that I see in others to have unconditional love. My friend Heidi taught me that. She truly is an example of loving others and not being afraid to share that love.

How do you define beauty?

I do not necessarily see beauty, but I feel it! My boys never saw the beauty in some of the girls that I thought were cute! Possibly I am this way because I have never felt that I was beautiful, but have known that inside I am, I see the inside of people first.

To me being beautiful means...

realizing the truth in the knowledge that we are God's children and each and every one is a beauty in his eyes.

What is your favorite beauty "product" - something you do/put on/follow that makes you feel good about your appearance, be it physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual:

A smile.

My advice to every new couple is to smile and laugh each day.

A smile changes everything.