My Campaign for Real Beauty

Sameness is clearly not beauty to the Lord—just look at the Earth. The Lord didn’t decide that one climate, flower, tree, or animal was the most beautiful and make it over and over again. He made desert canyons, forest meadows, oceans, plains, and peaks. And I believe he is pleased with each of them. A God who makes lizards and koala bears must love diversity and understand the virtue of differing strengths.

-Diane L. Mangum


May I present
my younger but incredibly beautiful, fashionable, talented, intelligent sister


Heather

Having a sister so close to my age was one of the absolute best things about my childhood. We were each others best playmates, probably because we never had to "go home." We played Barbies, "moms" [our title for playing house], dress up, princesses, shared a love of big long, flowing dresses and anything "olden days" [1800's], we colored, watched movies, talked to backyard neighbors over the fence, dropped out of gymnastics. We were hopeless Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman fans, even when we got older and made fun of it: possibly our way of holding on to simpler times and fond memories, I think. Besides that, it was something we laughed at together. As we grew we also shared favorite books and became the editors of each others compositions. We made home movies and spent long car rides giggling as we recorded our own commercials and talk shows on a fisher-price tape player [props to dad for being able to keep his mind on the road when his pleas to "stop this silliness, girls" went somewhat unheeded.] Heather and I shared a room for most of our growing up years, which meant that we were often up talking when we were supposed to be sleeping. Dad had to sit at the top of the stairs and shush us to keep us from talking until we finally crashed.

In our later teen years, with different friends, pursuits and developing personalities, we seemed to be friends only about half the time. I was a bossy older sister [I admit it!] who at times felt it was my sisterly duty to tell Heather things she was doing wrong. This didn't always go over so well and she was probably glad to see me go off to college! But something happened while I was away. When I came home to visit I saw a girl I hadn't seen before, one who I wanted to know better, one who impressed me, one who knew about things that I was clueless about. We worked at Applebee's together one summer. Our coworkers often commented on our different personalities, how we were "like night and day." There were times growing up where I had wished we were more alike. I thought if we were we would get along better. Or I wondered if she was different from me because she just didn't want to be like me. But now I love our differences. I love to hear her viewpoints, and I *love* that we still "get" each other and laugh about a lot of the same things.

Things that amaze me about my sister are all things I wish I could do better. Heather is straight-up honest with herself and others. When I need to know if my make-up looks bad or if I'm just really overthinking something, she will tell me. Sometimes it's not what I want to hear, but when I want an honest opinion or viewpoint, it's nice to know I can count on her not to just tell me what she thinks I want to hear. Sometimes you just need that from someone that you know loves you anyway, who has seen you at your best and worst.

Heather's combination of independence and intelligence have always inspired admiration [and a bit of envy] in me. She was working two part-time jobs at the age when I was working two nights a week, she took on tricky AP classes, bought her own first car, started her own business, plans elaborate dinner parties, events and fabulous costumes [no small task!], and tries all kinds of intricate recipes, to name a few of her endeavors. As far as I can tell

she is fearless.

And I couldn't go without mentioning my sister's sense of style. She has always had a sixth sense about style. She is a trendsetter, always one step ahead of the latest and greatest. She will be wearing something one year and I will think, "oh that's different." The next year it is everywhere, embraced at large by the world of fashion. And I saw it here first, on Heather. She is the only person I can really shop with. I think it's because we just do our own thing and meet up to share our finds. I ooh and aah over her picks and she gives me her thoughts on mine.

She makes me look at things differently,
things I might never have considered.
And in doing so helps me see beauties I had somehow overlooked.

And now,

Heather's thoughts...

What is your favorite tradition and why?

Well one of my favorite new traditions is spending Christmas Eve with Mark's family (on his mom's side) at their annual seafood dinner where they do a dollar gift exchange afterward that is pretty fun. It is something I look forward to each year since we've been married and it allows us to spend quality time with them on Christmas Eve and then spend most of Christmas Day with my family.

What physical features or personality traits do you share with other family members?

I think for the most part my brothers and sisters don't look too much alike (minus the red hair my brothers all share). I've had people say I look like my mom and others say I look like my dad's side so I don't know. As I've gotten older, I think I do have a few more of my mom's features - like cheeks and nose. I also tend to be more on the reserved side, like my mom, especially when in larger groups of people or talking in front of people.

One thing I love about my mother is…

My mother has always been an influence for righteousness. There were many ways in which she bore her testimony to us through her service to our family. One profound lesson I remember learning from her was that you can seek the Lord in prayer to receive comfort and that prayers are answered. When I was around 7 or so, I didn't feel as though I had any friends at church. I expressed this to her and she had us kneel down together and pray that I would be able to find a friend at church. Shortly thereafter a girl named Libby moved into our ward who became a good friend to me. I have often thought back on this experience and hope that I can teach the same lesson to my children.

Who are the most influential women in your life?

I feel like I have many wonderful women to look to in my life including my mother, mother-in-law, sister, and wonderful childhood friends who have helped me stay true to myself and make good decisions while growing up.

Who are (or have been) your spiritual mentors and how have they influenced your spiritual journey?

Both my parents were very good influences for my spiritual growth. I never had to doubt that they had a testimony of the gospel. My older sister also was a strong influence on me. I feel she has always been a more spiritual person than me and I definitely benefited from her goodness and also her enthusiasm for the church - from all the hard work she put into being a leader at girl's camp to hearing her EFY and Seminary CD's playing nonstop in our rooms. =) I also had an incredible YW leader in Beehives, Sister Larson, whom I adored. She was so sweet and really made me feel special. I grew a lot from her strength and testimony.

Friends can have a powerful influence on our feelings about our own beauty and body image. Share an experience you have had where a friend was important in making you feel beautiful and allowing you to be your true self.

I feel like I was really blessed with such wonderful friends growing up. We could all be ourselves around each other and participate in making silly home movies or driving past a certain crush's house lots and lots and lots. One experience in particular I remember was when I was visiting my friend Rachel who moved to Idaho while in high school where we were putting on makeup and I was looking at her and expressed that I thought she was so beautiful and she said that she had just been thinking the same thing about me.

Tell about a time when you were willing to take a risk because you had the support of a friend(s).

Any risk I took that involved talking to boys usually involved being backed by one or more friends. I'm not sure if all of them were good risks, but they did help me to get out of my comfort zone. Once after a concert, my friends encouraged me to go up to a cute guy that we saw while eating at Dee's afterward and give him my phone number. I finally did it and he called and we went on a double date with him and his friend. He turned out to be a lame-o, but it's still a fun memory. Now that I'm thinking about it, this happened on more than one occasion and probably helped lead to me being able to email Mark (my husband) without actually having met. I guess it had just gotten easy by that point.

People tell me I look like...

I've gotten everything from Kirsten Dunst to Milla Jovovich to Sarah Michelle Gellar to Selma Blair to some character on SVU.

...but I think I look like:

none of the above- although I was most flattered by Milla Jovovich, but that might be because it came from a guy I dated... after we had stopped dating.

What do you feel are your greatest accomplishments?

I guess I would have to say that one is graduating from college with a Bachelor's in business but also having gone the extra mile by doing a minor along with it, even though it wasn't required to get the degree. I also would say starting my own wedding planning and now floral business is something I'm proud of.

What are your most memorable experiences?

Some of my favorite memories to look back on are from when I lived in SLC with my good friend Elisa. We didn't even know each other when we moved in together, but we ended up having so much in common and having lots of really fun times together - such as going dancing two or three times a week sometimes.

What do you feel makes you special and beautiful?

My daughter often makes me feel special, especially when she is in the mood to cuddle or give hugs and kisses. I know that her love is unconditional.

What makes you feel strong?

Resisting dessert... which doesn't happen often cause I have a major sweet tooth.

What are some things that come easy to you (strengths, abilities, talents, understandings, convictions, etc. that you know you’ve always had)?

Getting good grades was usually pretty easy for me. I was a good test taker and had a good memory so it helped that I didn't have to study too much. I also feel like I've got a lot of common sense/am very practical. One other thing that is noted in my patriarchal blessing is that I have a strong belief in the Word of Wisdom and it is something that has never been much of a temptation for me.

What gets in your way every day?

Working out! (bleh)

I am passionate about…

weddings/flowers, clothes (although not as much as I used to be...), and good food.

I am inspired by…
beautiful things, color, texture, and good food (pictures in cookbooks are a must)!

What was/is the best job you've ever had? Why?

Well, sad as it is to say, working at Applebees (at least the period while I was in high school) was actually a favorite job of mine because I made some really great friends with co-workers that were a big influence in who I became. Plus, we had lots of fun when we got off work.

What makes you happiest?

When I get to spend quality time with Mark and Cecilia and seeing them be happy.

What makes you sad?

People that make really bad decisions but even more so maybe because the circumstances in which they were raised didn't teach them how to make better ones.

What makes you laugh?

The aforementioned home movies I made with my friends.

What is a quirk you have?
My obsession with weddings

What is hardest for you to overcome in loving your physical body?

Mainly the post-baby stomach.

What helps you love your body most?

When I look good in something I'm wearing.

What do you love about your body?

I am glad that I'm as tall as I am.

What do you most enjoy doing with your family/people you love?

Probably eating. I love going out to eat with Mark and I love going home and having everyone be there for dinner. It is the best thing about Thanksgiving and Christmas. Plus, food is just good.

What things do you find fulfilling?

Once all the flowers for a wedding are done I love to see that I created something beautiful that will (hopefully) make someone else happy.

If you could write a letter to you and send it back in time, what age would you write it for and what are a few things you would say to yourself?
I would write it for around when I graduated high school and tell myself to not date a certain guy because you'll put up with too much nonsense and not demand the respect that you deserve because you are lonely and missing the missionary boy. I would also maybe say to stop missing the missionary boy so much cause things blow up in the end anyway because you both will change a lot.

How has being a woman affected your perception/execution of your life’s mission?

I remember that I used to want to work after I'd had kids, but when I had one, I realized that I want to be the one to see her grow and learn all the little things she does each day. I feel very blessed to be able to stay home with her for the most part and see her grow and be the one to teach her.

What things do YOU find joy in creating?

Besides creating things with flowers, I also have found that I love to create with food. I love to make a meal that is good and also have people try something that they might not have tried before and find they like it.

What were your ambitions when you were young?

I wanted to be a fashion-designer and I still have my sketch book to prove it. I wish that I'd learned more about sewing.

What is your main goal in life?
To do my best to create a happy and loving family environment.

What parts of you do you want to develop?

I always feel like I need to develop more spiritually and work at having a closer relationship with Heavenly Father and Savior.

What are some things you admire in others?

Lots of things. I wish I was more comfortable and better at talking with people I don't know well so I definitely admire those who are great conversationalists. I also admire those with great will-power.

One thing I would like to explore or be is:
I think going to cooking school would be fun - but I'd be worried I couldn't keep up.

What are some important things that will happen to you in the next 5 years?

We will most likely welcome child number two into our family and Mark will finish his doctorate and then maybe we can buy a house of our own and settle down in a place where we have the possibility of being for a long time... although that still might be more than 5 years away.

What qualities are you currently working to develop?

Trying to be more consistent about things - such as cleaning, blogging, reading scriptures, etc.

How do you define beauty?
Being completely confident and happy with who you are and loving your flaws and incapabilities as much as your strengths and talents.

What is your favorite beauty “product”: something you do/put on/follow that makes you feel good about your appearance (it can be something physical, emotional, mental or spiritual).

I think eyebrows are important (plucking, filling, etc), sounds strange but good eyebrows really can bring out the best aspects in the rest of the face. I also think a great pair of shoes can really help =)

Best “beauty tip” you ever received:

Something Rachel said in one of our "home videos" is coming to mind... but I can't remember it exactly...

[Heather - do get back to me on this. I'm pretty sure it is crucial to the success of this post. And, surprisingly, I can't remember what she said either, though I know which one you're talking about. Over and out.]

Tell about a time when you felt truly beautiful.

I think being sealed to Mark on our wedding day - I felt beautiful on the outside, but also knew I was marrying a wonderful person for time and all eternity - and that Heavenly Father was pleased with us, along with our parents and families. It was a day filled with a lot of love.