You may remember, this year I am resolved to attack my bookshelves.
In honor of Janie's PT, Julie,
[who we are missing very dearly--she no longer comes now that Janie is 3],
my first selection was a book she told us about:
In honor of Janie's PT, Julie,
[who we are missing very dearly--she no longer comes now that Janie is 3],
my first selection was a book she told us about:
The Last Lecture
by Randy Pausch
by Randy Pausch
Randy Pausch was a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and fairly quickly it became terminal. He passed away in the summer of 2008. The book is somewhat of a collection of his dearest memories, dreams, final thoughts and conclusions about his life [and life in general]. Sound sad? It's not. At times you forget it is the words of a dying man, because he was living so incredibly.
In fact [and in paying homage to Julie] these pages proved to be a very productive
*therapy session*
In fact [and in paying homage to Julie] these pages proved to be a very productive
*therapy session*
The results of my *treatments* [get it?] are in:
Randy talks a lot about the various "brick walls" he has hit in his life.
"...Brick walls are there for a reason. They're not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something."
"...Brick walls are there for a reason. They're not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something."
Viewing my weaknesses and setbacks as brick walls to climb over, around or through rather than "road closed" signs gives me hope and courage when they loom in my path.
At one point in the book, Randy shares a conversation he had with a friend upon learning that he has just months to live. His friend asks if his affairs are in order, namely life insurance. Then he advises Randy to pay the premiums on emotional insurance--ways for his family to remember his love, paid out in time.
At one point in the book, Randy shares a conversation he had with a friend upon learning that he has just months to live. His friend asks if his affairs are in order, namely life insurance. Then he advises Randy to pay the premiums on emotional insurance--ways for his family to remember his love, paid out in time.
As I pondered that concept I had to think of NieNie. Stephanie Nielsen was badly burned in a small plane crash almost a year and a half ago. She came dangerously close to death, but pulled through, though the road to recovery has been grueling. Her blog is inspiring, and was so even before the accident. I am struck with the thought that if she hadn't pulled through, her written words would have lived on as a way for her children to know and remember her. She had been paying those premiums Randy's friend talked about.
And that has become one of the main reasons I blog.
And that has become one of the main reasons I blog.
Fulfilling childhood dreams is also one of the themes woven throughout the book.
I looked back to try and remember what some of my childhood dreams were.
Being like my grandma Nora, being a wife and mother, an author, a teacher.
Becoming a singer and an actress were also high on my list for a while.
I had acted a little in sixth grade and loved it, only to find a few years later in my junior high speech/drama class that my stage fright continually won out over any semblance of acting abilities I thought I had.
When I would hear others talk about chasing your dreams I would sometimes remember those Hollywood hopes with a mix of amusement, exasperation and a little embarrassment.
I wasn't sure whether to feel like a failure or to be grateful for an early realization that I was a much better audience member than stage player.
Until one morning a few years ago,
standing in front of my kindergarteners,
hamming it up big time
while singing and dancing to "Goin' on a Bear Hunt."
Meanwhile, other classes and teachers walking by would look in on the commotion.
And I didn't even care if they did.
A sudden realization flashed before me. I had fulfulled those dreams of being a starlet after all. Not on a theater stage or in a recording studio, but in the smiling eyes of forty-something five-year-olds as I brought them to their feet with every performance.
[even at eight months pregnant, I might add.]
"It's not about how to achieve your dreams. It's about how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you."
I looked back to try and remember what some of my childhood dreams were.
Being like my grandma Nora, being a wife and mother, an author, a teacher.
Becoming a singer and an actress were also high on my list for a while.
I had acted a little in sixth grade and loved it, only to find a few years later in my junior high speech/drama class that my stage fright continually won out over any semblance of acting abilities I thought I had.
When I would hear others talk about chasing your dreams I would sometimes remember those Hollywood hopes with a mix of amusement, exasperation and a little embarrassment.
I wasn't sure whether to feel like a failure or to be grateful for an early realization that I was a much better audience member than stage player.
Until one morning a few years ago,
standing in front of my kindergarteners,
hamming it up big time
while singing and dancing to "Goin' on a Bear Hunt."
Meanwhile, other classes and teachers walking by would look in on the commotion.
And I didn't even care if they did.
A sudden realization flashed before me. I had fulfulled those dreams of being a starlet after all. Not on a theater stage or in a recording studio, but in the smiling eyes of forty-something five-year-olds as I brought them to their feet with every performance.
[even at eight months pregnant, I might add.]
"It's not about how to achieve your dreams. It's about how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you."
