Upon discovering that my brother Ethan did NOT have my number in his phone, I insisted he remedy the situation.
"Let's see," he mused mostly to himself. "What can I use with your name?" In response to our blank looks he informed us that he uses an adjective for each person when they are entered into his phone. Jason has been dubbed Jason the Analytical. Ethan looked to me. "What is one word that describes you?"
One? As Danielle de Barbarac once said, I could no sooner choose a favorite star in the heavens. But that's mostly just because I am indecisive. And complicated. See? That's two words right there!
I looked to Jason for help. He had none. I guess he must have eaten too much at dinner... or something.
"Meg the.... matronly." Ethan decreed.
"Matronly?" I repeated, somewhat in protest. "That sounds... old."
A few moments later, he countered with, "Meg the benevolent."
I accepted. Benevolently, I might add.
Then last night it occurred to me that I don't really even know what matronly means.
I clicked my little self on over to [one of Jason's favorite sites] m-w.
And found this:
matronly: [no help there]
so as I held my breath a little, I went on to:
matron
1 a. a married woman usually marked by dignified maturity or social distinction [oooh, I like the sound of that.]
b. a woman who supervises women or children (as in a school or police station) [and wouldn't you know, I've done both!... a fire station counts, right?]
c. the chief officer in a women's organization [hmm... well... if you count my house, then yes. Jason isn't much for organization, ahem, bless his heart.]
On second thought, I'm thinking matronly is good.
Tell me, what do you think of Meg the benevolent matron? Think I'll text him right now with the changes...
Not that I have my heart set on it or anything, of course, no. I'm much more mature than that, naturally. Next time I see him I could just do it myself, then I wouldn't have to trouble him one bit. Or I could just, well, supervise the correction. It's always better to take charge, see things through yourself, you know. Because you simply do not want to put undue strain on others.
Dear me, I guess that's why they call me...
you know...
Meg the [humble] benevolent matron.
wait, did I just say, dear me?
And does that make me sound... old?
